The Power and Glory of Being No. 2

In the novel ‘The Man’ by Irving Wallace, someone down the pecking order becomes the President of the United State in strange circumstances. Something similar happened in our office recently though the No. 1 is still around and there was no accident or anything like what happens in the novel. Almost overnight from somewhere being No. 5 I became No. 2 in the office. The interesting thing is that apart from being No. 5, I am also No. 2 which is something which happens only in the government.

Sometime last week the No. 2 in the office left abruptly. The No. 3 position was vacant. The No. 4 was out of action since a long time because of an accident. There’s someone between No. 4 and No. 5 but I was chosen as No. 2 for reasons I am yet to comprehend. Never had I dreamt that I would take such a quantum leap up the ladder. After a week’s experience as No. 2 all I can say it is no joke being a heartbeat away from being No. 1. Not that I can ever hope to become No.1.It is impossible. So far it has been a smooth ride but I am eager to get back to my No. 5 status because I am not comfortable with a lot of things that come with being No. 2 in our office.

The responsibilities of being No. 2 are rather heavy. But there are a lot of perks that come with the No. 2 job. I have a large room with an AC, an anteroom with an attached toilet and a bed in case I feel like taking a nap, a television set, two telephones, two personal attendants, a PA with his own room and of course, tea and coffee whenever I want. Then there’s the car. It isn’t an ordinary white Ambassador car that I am travelling now but a Honda City. It has two drivers who work in shifts. I had never imagined that I would get driven to work in such a big car.

I keep forgetting that I am the No. 2 and on entering the office go to my old No. 5 seat and spend some time there before being reminded by the personal attendant about the files waiting for me. There are usually mountains of files I have to go through and sign as No. 2. There are too many things to attend at once, especially meetings. Then as No. 2 almost everyone in the office is subordinate to me which means I get too much of respect (most of it false) if I venture out of my room. People make way for me like I am the Pope, they open doors for me like I can’t open them myself and generally treat me in a way that makes me very nervous.

Apart from myself there are others too who do not seem to be very happy at my elevation as No. 2. It shows in their face when they come to me with files with an expression that says they cannot believe I am the No. 2. At times like that and in their presence I begin to feel somewhat unworthy myself. Since I am in the No. 2 seat temporarily I cannot really assert myself very much. The only bright thing about being No. 2, apart from the perks, is the fact that I will get additional pay for being an impostor. But the downside is that I haven’t even once dropped in at Adarsh or Paradise or any Irani joint for chai on the way home. I’m getting to drink Irani chai only on Sundays at Abids.