Parking Pareshaani

If you thought there can’t be anything worse than the way Hyderabadis drive on the roads then obviously you haven’t seen how they park their vehicles. No one can beat Hyderabadis when it comes to parking. It is an incontrovertible fact that Hyderabadis do not know how (and where) to park, which isn’t surprising considering the way they drive.

Unlike the rest of the country we Hyderabadis have our own unique style of doing anything. There’s the Hyderabadi style of talking, of coming late, and of course, the inimitable style of driving that we all know very well, rather too well I should say. Then there’s the Hyderabadi style of gawking, of spitting. To this list, I must add the Hyderabad style of parking, which is, come to think of it, very, very simple. So simple that only four words are needed to describe it- ‘Park Wherever You Stop.’ This, by the way, is the same principle behind another favorite Hyderabadi activity- spit wherever you are/want.

So, that’s the principle behind all the cars parked bang in front of stores, shops, hotels etc in Hyderabad. A Hyderabadi goes out to shop or eat, he simply stops his (or her) car in front of said store/hotel, opens the door and gets out. That’s it. It doesn’t matter if the car is blocking the entrance, or is in the middle of the road. For all purposes and as far as the car owner is concerned, the car is considered as parked. But it doesn’t mean that the car owner isn’t bothered about his car. He doesn’t simply leave his car just like that. Every ten minutes or so he darts out to check if his car is still there and has not been stolen. If the guard happens to protest, the car owner tells him ‘just two minutes’ and disappears inside only to come out after two hours or longer depending on what he has gone inside for. But when he hears the hooting of the Traffic Police van he runs out like the store has caught fire. When he sees traffic cops he puts on a stupid grin (another Hyderabadi specialty) and lies to them that he had got in just then. The traffic cops who are after all Hyderabadis and hence generous and considerate let him off. Which is why the Hyderabadi guys keep parking that way.

Of late, I’ve noticed the evolution of another parking style. Hyderabadis, rich and poor, love to buy fruits, especially bananas, from pushcart vendors parked on the roadside. The true Hyderabadi simply stops his car near the cart and bargains with the vendor through the car window. He does it without out stepping out of the car like it isn’t worth the effort. He won’t get down from the car even if the vendor is on the passenger side of the car. He simply calls the vendor to his side or leans across the seat and bargains with the vendor through the window on the passenger side.

This is one reason why I said no one can beat Hyderabadis at parking. More on Hyderabad Parking style on another future post.