Food and the Hyderabadi

Sometimes when I am on the road in Hyderabad, stuck in a traffic jam, fuming inside as I watch all the stupid drivers around me, I wonder why we haven’t yet lost our mental balance and started beating up each other on the heads. The answer came the other day when I was driving past an Irani joint. I then had a ‘Zen’ moment and the following realization: Were it not for Irani chai and biryani more than half the Hyderabadis would have been raving lunatics by now. It may sound like an exaggeration but I am sure these foods and beverages typical of Hyderabad play a role in helping us maintaining our sanity.

It is quite evident how profoundly chai and biryani affects Hyderabadis. Ask anyone who’s just had a cup of chai or had biryani either for lunch or dinner how they feel and you will get the answer and a lot more. Even just watching the dreamy expressions on the faces of those coming out of Irani hotels will give a clue as to their state of mind. It is quite impossible to pick up a fight with anyone coming out Irani joints in Hyderabad. On the other hand they will endeavour to calm you down with their friendliness and their almost saintly advice or a short couplet on the thing troubling you whether it is a parking problem or anything else.

Biryani and Irani chai are what makes the Hyderabadis what they are. That being so, Hyderabadis will do anything for biryani and chai. But the problem is that no self respecting Hyderabadi will agree to let you pay for his biryani or chai if you happen to be an outsider. He will insist on paying it himself unless he happens to be someone from Jubilee Hills. Anyway, on the rare occasion when you are lucky enough to be treating a Hyderabadi to biryani, be prepared. A Hyderabadi thus fed will express his undying gratitude to you all his life. He will not forget you so easily.

In fact if you want to get anything done by a Hyderabadi the trick is to treat him to biryani or chai. He will do anything you ask him, even jump into the Hussain Sagar if you so much as give him a hint. But if you happen to be one of those rare birds who can’t stand the smell of biryani or the taste of Irani chai and say so in the presence of a Hyderabadi then you’ve had it. He won’t argue with you or shout at you like residents of other cities because he is too refined. He has other ways of expressing his displeasure. He will simply get on the road and then drive you crazy.