Natural Born Spitters

One of the several hazards motorists, especially two wheeler riders, encounter daily on the roads of Hyderabad (apart from potholes the size of football stadia, non-Hyderabadi drivers, and people driving ancient Premier Padmini cars) is that of being spat upon. Yes, one faces the danger of being spat upon in Hyderabad. This is one unstated reason why the traffic cops very nicely tell you to wear helmets and you thought the helmets only protected you from crashes.

99% of us Hyderabadis seem to be born with overactive salivary glands, a factor due to which we are unable take two breaths without spitting once. This disorder seems to get acute the minute we board a bus and get a window seat. This poses a problem to all those two wheeler riders following the bus or who happen to be riding beside the bus. Today by a miracle and also by the sort of fast manouevre an F1 Motorcyclist would have envied, I avoided being in the landing range of a spitter who suddenly leant out of the window of a bus that was ahead of me. Before he could lean out again to discharge the rest of his saliva I changed lanes and sped away.

Minutes after this I faced another similar hazard. There was a Skoda before me and the guy at the wheel held his hand out of the window. He had a cigarette in his hand in the manner of Hyderabad's expert one hand drivers who either have their cell phone in their hands or a cigarette. I don't really mind the guys talking on their cell phones while driving (I do mind, of course) but it is people who smoke while driving who get my goat. These guys think they are being stylish keeping one hand out of the window perhaps to show us the brand of the cigarette they are smoking. Smokers like to imagine they are living the life similar to those shown smoking in the cigarette advertisements. The driver in the Skoda was no different and he stylishly flicked his cigarette. The ash flew straight into my face. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind and leaned across to tell him what I thought of him but at the last moment he turned into the Marriott leaving me fuming.

I am glad he wasn't chewing paan. On second thoughts I guess he should be glad I wasn't chewing paan.