The Ones I Let Go

Over the years I have developed a long list of books which I subsequently realized I should have picked up the moment I saw them. I did not pick up these books either because I was too stupid to realize their value, had no money or didn’t notice them properly or was too arrogantly self-confident no one else would pick them up. It is quite a long list but there are two books that I am reminded about almost daily. Whenever I think of the time I decided not to pick them up I feel very bad. One is Paul Theroux’s ‘Fresh Air Fiend’ and the second is Dorothea Brande’s ‘On Becoming a Writer.’

I had known about one of these two books before I came across it. I particularly wanted to read ‘Fresh Air Fiend’ and was on the lookout for it. I had read about the other book after I had given it the miss. I regret both occasions but I regret letting go of Theroux’s book the most. It is something that makes me cringe every time I recollect the time I saw the book. It was at a small makeshift second hand book store in Secunderabad a couple of years ago that I saw it for the first and also, the last time.

This makeshift shop which was run by the guys who own the MR Bookstores, had a tent sort of shop on SD Road in Secunderabad. It was a vacant plot just opposite the Deccan Chronicle office. I had spotted it one day and drove right in. It must have been the end of the month for I did not have enough money. My heart gave a leap when I spotted the title- Fresh Air Fiend. It was a hardcover edition and was priced at more than two hundred rupees. I did not pick it up because I thought no one would buy it until the next day when I planned to return with enough money. But when I came back the next day the book was gone! I felt like kicking myself at that time. I am still hoping I would come across it one day but I haven’t had such luck till now.

The second book, Dorothea Brande’s ‘On Becoming a Novelist’, I saw at a book sale of Best Books at YMCA. It was a small, slim book and since I hadn’t read about it I did not feel like picking it up though I am a sucker for books on writing. It seemed an old book and appeared uninteresting. I didn’t give it a close look because I had a lot of other books to look at. Actually there were two copies and it was for only thirty five rupees I remember clearly. But though I went there several times until the ten day sale came to a close I did not buy it. Then, recently I picked up (luckily) Julia Cameron’s ‘The Right to Write’, I read her describe it as a must read. Then Katherine Paterson in an essay in ‘The Writer’ too called it a ‘classic’ and since then I am on the look out for this book. Though there have been several other book sales of Best Books after that I couldn’t find the book.
But am still confident I will come across these books soon enough.